New Changes Coming to Chump Lady

There are some changes coming to the Chump Lady blog. A new site redesign to go along with the new edition of Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life and me narrating my audio book.

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Hey, welcome to my state of the blog address. I’m Chump Lady, your indefatigable host of Trust That They Suck advice. I’m not going anywhere, I just wanted to prepare you.

There are some changes coming.

Just to fill you in a bit about what’s been going on behind the scenes. For the last several months, I’ve been working on a site redo, and it will be going live later this week, fingers crossed. I also wanted to share some news, some challenges, and some pivots. The whole blog landscape has changed pretty drastically in the last few years, and I’m trying to figure out how best to get the LACGAL message out there. I’d love to hear your ideas on where best to direct my energies.

Let me start with some of the challenges and then we’ll move on the good news.

AI is eating my lunch.

Maybe it’s eating your lunch too. The internet landscape has changed radically. It used to be you could Google “How do I leave a cheater?” and you would wind up here.

Now, Google scrapes my content (nearly 3K posts worth) and gives you that answer. You never need to navigate to my site. That kills traffic. That kills new people finding support here. Sure, there’s SEO, I’ve done best practices on that. This is not a force I can fight. Google wants to keep you in its Google universe by design.

Unfortunately, AI answers have killed a lot of blogs.

Especially food and travel. You want a banana bread recipe? You’re not going to find a quirky, independent food blog any more (unless you bookmarked it years ago). Chances are you’re going to get an AI recipe. Yes, Google gives footnotes to sources, which it’s just now creating a program that “pays” you for the referral. (Which isn’t a referral, it’s theft, IMO.) But it’s pennies.

What’s this mean to you and me? Well, I pay for this place primarily through the ads that run here. Which are annoying AF, but it’s how I afford hosting, IT, the software I need, the podcast, and myself. (This is a job. I resisted facing that for a long time and most of the years I ran this place I simultaneously worked a full-time job until my brain broke.)

AI is killing the traffic, which is killing my ad income. And Holy Monopoly Batman! Google also owns all the internet ads. There’s antitrust lawsuits about this and I won’t digress… but as of this writing Google still is the only act in town for ad inventory. So, they own the search, they own the ads. Ergo, mustn’t piss them off.

I’ve been pissing off Google.

For the last two years I’ve been getting take down notices from Google via my ad network for “dangerous and derogatory” language. AI censor bots don’t read context. Google wants safe content for safe advertisers. So I can’t say Jesus ch***ter. I can’t say the satisfying naughty words. And I absolutely cannot describe seggs or seggs acts or seggs addiction.

Which makes writing about infidelity really difficult.

My quick fix on this was to create my Substack, which I named “Dangerous and Derogatory” — where I can say all the things I can’t say here. I moved banned posts to Substack and have more in reserve. I’ve considered a total pivot to Substack but have hesitated because I BUILT THIS PLACE. The archive is the collected wisdom of hundreds of thousands of chump stories of resiliency. It’s valuable! It’s useful!

Don’t worry, the Archive is not going anywhere.

I wanted Chump Nation to be free of paywalls for people who need support. The ads created passive (annoying AF) income so those who need help and community, get help and community. This model worked for a long time, but now it doesn’t.

I can hear you say “F Google!” Leave a monopoly, gain a life!

That’s exactly what I’m trying to move towards. But it means embracing the attention economy and chasing “subscribers.” For years I’ve had hybrid ad/support model with Patreon (GOD BLESS YOU PATRONS!) The generous souls who support this place. (And get the podcast without ads and some merch, consider joining!) But Patreon was always like a tip jar, it wasn’t the economic engine.

For now I’m in limbo, running the blog as I have until I get the dreaded take down notices. Softening my language. Seeing my traffic decline as my effort goes up.

So what’s next?

In the short term, a new evergreen site, that will survive whatever comes next. Where you land and you get a starter kit on exactly what you need when you find out. And the archives are front and center. I think you’ll find it much more navigable and helpful (especially for the newbies).

And I’m going to start making videos and get my butt on Instagram. I’ve resisted it, but I think that’s the best way to find new chumps. Not by words or Google, but by my big weird head spouting CL nuggets of hard-won trust-that-they-suck advice. I’ve got a learning curve ahead but the new site will have some video.

The podcast will continue with Sarah. And I’ll be promoting the new updated book and my audio book. I’m also considering moving all my new writing to Substack via subscription (one post a week free, the rest by subscription) and leaving this blog as an evergreen resource.

My goal in the new year is to get the second book on coparenting finished and sold. So, I’m not done with this Chump Lady mission.

How you can help.

To help me break free of Google:

• Considering subscribing at Patreon or Substack.
• Please REVIEW the book and audiobook wherever you got it. We’re slaves to the algorithm and it really helps!
• Word of mouth recommendations.
• Leave comments on the youtube channel for the podcast.

Telling people to leave cheaters, even leavened with snark and cartoons, has never been a popular message. Calling infidelity out as abuse, even less so. But the support is life-changing.

Your support of my work has been life changing. And I keep changing! And I’ll keep being here. Thank you.