Did Cheater and the Affair Partner Break Up?
Not that this should matter one whit to your recovery, but did your cheater and their affair partner break up?
Maybe they’re still together. Maybe it blew up instantly or over years. If you’re wise, you have no idea because you have zero contact with FWs.
The Friday Challenge question is: Did your cheater break up with Schmoopie?
I bring this up because my podcast co-host Sarah reports that her ex-husband and father of her four children — who left them for his affair partner — has now, 13 years later, been dumped.
You’ll never guess how the sad sausage reacted.
- This is all, very, very hard on him.
- He wants sympathy from the children he abandoned.
- He moved in with his mother.
The poor man. Meanwhile, he sends missives to Sarah about how proud he is of the kids’ accomplishments. (One son was just accepted to a prestigious medical school.)
Yes. The kids he didn’t raise or pay any support towards.
You can hear more about the tragic case of Sarah’s ex in our upcoming podcast. But meanwhile, we’d love to hear your stories. If your ex and Schmoopie’s twu luv went splat, leave us a voicemail.
Or tell me in the comments.
Remember: IT DOESN’T MATTER.
This is an amusing exercise for all you karma fans. But never make your healing contingent on what happens to your ex and Schmoopie(s). Just get on with your life. Their punishment is being them.
I didn’t get a karmic happy ending in my story and my life reordered itself just fine. I have no idea if my FW is still with his main OW. They live far away from each other, but geography never stopped him. And she wasn’t the only OW. He did seem to line up a new sucker wife. An unknowing innocent.
I sincerely doubt he’s a better person these days (I suspect he’s a sociopath). I’m just glad he’s far, far away from me.
But if you have a satisfying twu luv went splat story, lay it on us.
TGIF!
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My FW has broken up with his GF no less than 4 times during our long divorce process. These were hollow empty attempts at proving his devotion to me and his deep longing for me to take him back.Each time I told him no and each time he went right back to her and she actually took him back each time. I suppose he spun a sad tale about missing her and needing her in his life.I can only imagine what he told her about why our divorce took so long. A friend asked me why I did not share all of the e mails and texts from him begging me to take him back. Very simple- he deserves to be with a partner he does not love or respect. That’s the Karma bus. If they broke up, this 65 year old manchild would never leave me alone.
Yes, it can’t be a stable relationship, period. So let it develop its own cracks!
Interesting that Sarah’s FW just got dumped after 14 years. This year my FW told our (now 20 year old) son that schmoopie moved out and left him after 11 years. I had completely reached meh years ago (FW left us in 2015 and I was crazed enough to get a divorce in one year). I honestly didn’t care at this point whether they lived happily ever after or not, but it was so weird. FW & AP apparently bought a condo together a couple of years ago. And FW is currently still squatting in it. But I can’t help but wonder… did AP really “just” leave in June? Or were they broken up a long time before and FW finally was ready to let our son and his family know? FW never let our son visit them (not for 6 years — and they were only 2 miles away). His family (the ones I still was in touch with) would say they didn’t see AP for at least 5 years. She stopped going to any family things on his side years ago. How did it end? Did she finally realize he’s a lying, useless a$$ that everyone hates and can never hold a job? Their politics completely clashed — how did they even last more than a year? Schmoopie was fully complicit in breaking up our marriage. She really thought she won the prize lol. Or maybe she just got with someone else. I have no idea. I don’t think they ever married — although FW bragged to me about their impending marriage just months after DDay (while FW and I were just starting our divorce and AP was only separated from her husband). Just weird. I only care that my son is ok in all of this.
2 miles away and he never let his kids visit?!?! That is really strange.
FW and AP loved to antagonize our son. FW power tripped that there was nothing I could do about it. From the time son was 11-14 years old they would shove him, lock him outside their house and even called the police on him multiple times. My son would beg to go home to me to get free of the crazy but AP and FW refused. I tried CPS. Police told me point blank to get full custody (easier said than done). But I went through lawyers and FW was finally strong armed into signing that son could go home if he needed to. Once that document was signed (just weeks before COVID lockdown!) FW told son he would never be allowed back into their house. So yes, they were less than 2 miles away. But son didn’t go into their house until schmoopie left. FW would just take son to dinner. Or they would vacation together (out of town) without AP. FW finally let son visit his house for the first time in 6 years — on Father’s Day this year. Ironic
2 miles away, so it’s not the geographical distance that was the problem. I think Harry Chapin’s “Cat’s in the Cradle” is in your FW’s future: “It’s been sure nice talking to you dad….”
Cheaty McLiarface was told by the talk prostitute (therapist) that he needed to end his “really good friendship” with Joyful Jil during our wreck-on-silly-a-shun. He reported later that it “made her sad.” Now that I’ve set Cheaty free to pursue his bliss, I do hope that he has apologized for breaking up with her because his mean misguided wife insisted. I hope they explore their unrequited love that has endured three decades. Will a sad breakup come later when she realizes that he’s a manipulative liar? Don’t know, don’t care.
The talk prostitute?? 🤣☠️🤣☠️🤣 Talkstitute?
Mine evidently recently broke up with the OW more than 9 years after DDay. She owns (inherited) the condo they were living in and gave him one weekend to move out because she had found someone else. He begged me to cosign on a parking space in a 55+ RV park because his credit is so shot that he couldn’t get an apartment lease (reply: “no”). He was facing living in his truck without options for housing but in the end, she allowed him to stay in the condo and she moved in with her new Schmoopie (amazing, cheaters cheat?!) and he is now her tenant. He is now a 56-year old divorced dad with no contact with his two children, renting an apartment from his 29-year-old ex-girlfriend month-to-month. I love this for him!
Wow!
This story made my week.
The OW has one foot out the door after seven years, but is needed for part-time care following FW’s stroke.
Breakups are predictable with disordered people. The challenge is they are often accompanied by FW’s first expression of regret regarding the cheating. The regret might even be genuine, but you can’t un-ring a bell.
Is there anything healing in simply hearing the regret?
The regret is not for the cheating itself or for hurting you. It’s for screwing up their own lives. So I would not find it healing or satisfying at all.
Too little too late.
FW is in a miserable marriage with Schmoopie and that’s good enough for me.
It’s only been 4 months since DDay, and I haven’t been looking myself for months now, but I do know FW and Schmoopie were together as of two weeks ago. Because when I took the kids on a weekend trip, I got the male equivalent of the Hey Girly text from my neighbor, who saw them canoodling on our deck (we’re still living together because FW refuses to move out until the divorce is finalized). I told my neighbor they did the right thing in messaging me, but I already knew and wasn’t surprised.
Some slight bonus absurdity is that this neighbor’s wife used to work with FW and Schmoopie’s wife too. So not only did she recognize Schmoopie immediately, but she also told me she had heard rumors already about it. Apparently FW has been getting gossiped about to all of the women in our fairly small town too since she has no concept of discretion. Well that and the fact that since Schmoopie was her (now former) BFF’s husband, her friends aren’t exactly mincing words about it when asked either.
Sorry you are still under the same roof with your FW. My FW used every trick in the book to stall and keep me in the same house – easier access to me to try to initiate conflict and wreak havoc. I moved out while she was away for a week – and everything has drastically improved since then for me and my kids. I highly recommend getting out (or getting her out) as fast as you can before she starts calling the police with false accusations. Until then, please lock your door before you go to sleep and plan how you’ll get your own home in case she still refuses to move out post divorce. Hang in there, it gets better, and No Contact is sooo much easier having your own home for you and your children.
Yeah I don’t want to get into details since the divorce proceedings are ongoing, but I have taken steps to protect myself at my lawyer’s advice.
She is absolutely delaying as long as possible, presumably because she knows her life is going to get much less comfortable once she moves out. It does appear that she’s trying to find her own place eventually, but her actions show that she’s trying to drag out the process.
You best strike whilst the iron is hot meaning FW is busy with the AP and get divorced before the AP dumps her and she is then laser focused making your life miserable
Sadly that’s not making a difference. Her pride/ego is stronger than her desire to run off with Schmoopie. I filed months ago, but she’s dragging it out as long as possible. As soon as she figured out I’d hired a lawyer she went into rewriting history and trying to get her revenge on me. The irony is that she’s only hurting herself, because she’s the one who will be getting paid in the settlement, and we’re both wasting all this money she would be getting a majority of in the settlement by her making and me disproving all of her false claims.
I am truly sorry this happened to you and is so fresh. I had enough cheaters in my life and feel for the pain you are living through. Keep 💪
FW and AP married one year after D-day. What’s interesting to me is that they “eloped” on the one-year anniversary of what I considered the worst day of my life. That’s a little like having a Parade of Sail a year after the sinking of the Titanic.
But I digress.
I am blissfully NC, so I don’t know anything and don’t want to know anything! If, however, someone were to inform me that FW and wifetress were having a rocky go of it—or, better yet, that she was cheating on him—I have to admit that the little non-meh part of me would smile.
I’m even feeling a bit of vicarious schadenfreude for Sarah. Looking forward to the podcast 🍿.
My huge worry is that this very unstable and armed man will turn to me if his marriage gets rocky. I pray for marital bliss. I did ask my former pastor to keep an eye on cheater in church and text me if he sits alone too many weeks. Then I have to change my movements.
I worked with a FW who remarried on his anniversary with wife #1, a marriage of 15+ years. Just weird…
Yep, just swapping out one wife appliance for another. And he doesn’t have to remember a new anniversary date!
Does anybody expect a FW to remember a second anniversary date? You ask too much!
He had a science PhD and was a bit different about things. He said it made sense to him to do that.
Don’t know what his wife thought. She was also a FW, by the way. So two shattered marriages.
Your comment compelled me to look at some dates, to confirm what I was aware of a few years ago but hadn’t thought about for a long time. My ex-h married exactly two years after the date of our successful mediation (the divorce was finalized a few months later – only the mediation date is on my calendar). I suppose he has two anniversary dates to celebrate?
Unfortunately, his new marriage is not to the love of his life. The AP didn’t leave her husband and three young sons for my ex (although she did leave her job – darn those FINRA regulations).
Don’t know, don’t care. There were so many betrayal objects. Have too many better things to do.
No karma in my story, but it would be an interesting show to watch from my cheap seat in the chump peanut gallery.
FW and Married Howorker got together sometime during the last 3 years of our 40-year marriage — she was low hanging fruit, seeing as how she sat her wealthy azz in the office right next to his and he always picked the easy ones — but they were quite methodical about the timing of their official coming out. He dumped and divorced me first, and only after the ink was dry on our divorce (took 3 years after D-Day) did she do the same to her very successful attorney chump-husband (their divorce was somewhat quicker). Guess the lovebirds didn’t want it to look like a coordinated attack to the 5 adult children and 12+ grandchildren left behind between the two families. They got married within just a few months of her decree getting stamped by the judge, bought a $1 million McMansion in Kentucky (unless you live in Derby country, there can’t be too many of those around, right?), stocked their garage with a fleet of luxury cars, and bought a nice boat to cruise up and down the Ohio River (maybe the current price of diesel fuel is pinching them). After telling each of the kids that no inheritance will be coming their way, they started throwing serious money all over the place with the intention of spending every last cent before they croak.
Maybe their karma will look like them living waaaay longer than they predict and having to have their diapers changed while sitting in a Medicaid nursing home.
My situations was so classic that I’m sure to bore most of you with it. The married affair partner of my ex dumped her like a hot potato, on DDay. As soon as the affair was discovered, he was gone. Threw her under the bus. Told his wife that she meant nothing to him and let her know that.
It was somewhat pleasurable (can’t spell that German word for it) to see the ex realize she wasn’t “special.” Just another side piece. Her tru luv was not the great romance of the ages after all. She blew up a 10 year marriage with two young children to be the plaything of a man as hollow as she was.
The comeuppance of a FW is never boring! I daresay it’s brightened everybody’s day to read it.
Andrea
My whole experience was a long time ago but…
He was married to me for 18 years (and likely cheating here and there with work associates who didnt want an actual relationship but side-fun) before he fell for Schmoopie. He left us on the east coast to take a job (since there were “no jobs on the east coast”) in the west in the same area where OW was also working-but-not-living.
He swore up and down that they were over and did not see each other there. I couldn’t prove otherwise, so my heart chose to believe him (on some level) and overrode my brain (which kept trying to tell me that he was likely playing house with her.
After a year and a half of this, I was ready to move forward with a divorce and had decided to tell him the very next time he called. I picked up the phone and he said “Im coming home”. This is what I had prayed for, so thwarting it felt unnatural.
He came home all sadz and refused to discuss what happened promised to discuss it later (which of course never came). Cautionary tale: dont let them return home without setting your terms.
He never admitted that they saw each other there or why they broke up and we coasted like that for 5 years of raising kids together until he died (young und unexpected).
In his office crap, I found photos and mementos indicating they were together when he worked in the west. I also found proof that the explanations he gave be on D day were all lies. A few years later, I discovered more lies.
I tried to keep all this from my kids but very recently, my adult daughter came across the mother-lode of letters/ etc documenting the whole fiasco.
I think that OW broke up with Cheater because she wanted a financially comfy life and to start a family. He told wild tales of the comfy life he would set up for me when he left to start his new family…trouble was, he didnt have the money for 2 families and I think she figured that out.
About a million times, I have questioned myself about my decisions and how I navigated this whole thing. It’s a fruitless activity as the whole thing was like a rubic’s cube – one difference would have changed multiple things. (Like I regret sending my oldest son off to a university that cost too much but he had a child with a lovely women he met there who is the light of my life, so I would never wish him away.) Me and my kids have about as good life as we possibly could have had given the years we spent with an abusive covert narcissist.
Please don’t gaslight your adult daughter by covering up for the deceased FW. My former MIL did that and contributed to the creation of ugly monster that is FW narcopath.
Figuring out what to tell them when has been hard She has come to a place of really admitting that he was a narcissist.
Much of what happened remains in the fog, but my ex ran off to another state where an old girlfriend lived. She had periodically reappeared during our marriage of several decades, and at one point, when she called the house, I even got her full name and address. He began talking about her more and more as the marriage began to fall apart, and guess where he finally landed? Yes, in her metropolitan area.
Some months in, when negotiations kept stalling, his attorney told mine that it was an adultery case, confirming all of my suspicions. He also added that they really had nothing on me, which the attorney didn’t like. He talked about quitting because of the imbalance and because his client was mentally unstable and very difficult. My husband kept trying to power-over his own attorney, and his attorney wasn’t standing for that.
But we settled in a wild flourish, and I didn’t have to sit through an ugly trial with all of the details. I was fine with that. Given how unstable and seemingly lonely my ex was during closeout, my attorney and I assumed that he wasn’t paired up. My ex sent cards with checks to our kids with notes about reconciling with them because “he might not live much longer.”
But then the whole tenor changed, and he stopped contacting us. My adult kids and I figured he was in a long-term relationship. A relative of his confirmed that. Yes, I know he could reappear if that relationship crashes and burns, but probably not, given the history. It’s been years now. And as we say in the South, bless her heart! I can’t imagine that he’s a good partner, but whatever.
Huh. Reading this reminded me that my dad fired his first divorce attorney and refused to pay him. The attorney sued him. I’m not sure how that played out, but I assume the attorney got a judgment against him. From what my mom’s attorney told her, my dad’s first attorney apparently told him that, under state law (community property), he couldn’t get the property settlement he wanted. And my dad didn’t like that.
Anyway, he hired another attorney, and the divorce finally went through. My dad wanted to, and did, remarry someone who wasn’t a side piece during my parents’ marriage – I think. Since he wanted to remarry, I think he decided to quit throwing obstacles in the way of the proceedings.
I discovered FW fell for a catfish romance scam, despite watching the show “Catfish” weekly and laughing at the people who were conned. He sent tens of thousands over the next two months til D-Day, when he left the bedroom laptop open to his email inviting her to move in with him. In about two minutes I reverse-searched “her” photos, which belonged to an Instagram hooker (they travel for sex), and not much longer to show him how “her” emails proved she was not from the US. For example, she wrote she was taking a bus from Arizona (southwestern US) to New York City (in the northeast), and that six hours after leaving Arizona, she was at a rest stop near Seattle (northwest) because it was a “very fast bus and made very few stops.” In reality, it takes 28 hours of non-stop driving by car, and the bus went 1500 miles in the wrong direction. I showed him similar inconsistencies and lies. He seemed to believe me, and demanded I (spouse of decades) console him because he had lost his “twu wuv.”
Months later, in the midst of divorce, I learned that FW was still hooked. He had his first (and last) visit with tween that was supposed to be “supervised” by a friend, who decided it was fine to let them take off in a car. FW made sure Tween saw his cellphone, which was left open to his texts. To the SCAMMER. He was still professing his love and begging for photos of the real her so they could continue their relationship–and simultaneously texting the Instagram hooker, offering his help to protect herself from the catfisher using her photos.
Tween used his own cellphone to take screenshots of FW’s texts.
Over the next two years, FW introduced friends to a succession of twu wuvs, introducing them all as “life partners” and “soul mates.” They all dumped him.
FW and howorker are getting married. I only know this because my 2 adult children that occasionally see him (DS more than DD other adult DD refused to tolerate his BS so he ditched her and her children) were incredibly upset about this and wanted to vent their disgust which I allowed them to do while remaining silent and just listening. He gave them both ‘save the date’ invitations. DD handed it back to him and let him know she would NOT be attending. He became sad sausage FW and declared that he and howorker had been together for over 7 years to which DD replied ‘funny that considering you were still married to AND living with my mother’. The meeting between them ended with DD leaving, she was quick with another remark on her departure, she turned to him and said ‘marriage hey, for you, how’d that work out because of you the last time’ ….. Yeah she’s got good snark. DS was distressed because because as he described it as a s#&t show of mask wearing. Sadly it is the gift that keeps on giving, slowly they are waking up to his shallowness and my heart hurts for my children. FW was in their life for a long time playing the part of daddy albeit with me having to be the protector at all times. They are damn fine people and I alone take credit for their awesomeness. As for me, well I really couldn’t give two f£@ks what FW and howorker are up to, 7 years ago, 6 years ago, 5 years ago maybe even 4 years ago that news would have spiralled me – not today.
Newbies it really does become an awesome life x
Yes they stayed together. They sailed off into the sunset and worked together to create massive gambling debt and subsequent bankruptcy. As much as he devasted me in real time, I am so blessed to have missed that.
I did feel when it all went down that she stole the future I had helped build. She didn’t. She/he created their own future and freed me to rebuild mine. I did good.
I view it the same. My ex was newly retired when the marriage shattered. That plunged our college kids and me into hard financial times because I had largely been a SAHM.
I figured it out, though, and am very likely better off than he is on multiple fronts.
#1 cheater is married to his Golds gym find (while I wss pregnant)35 years later.She won the prize of my children on weekends, the loyalty of my in-laws and a life with an angry complaining cheater.Grateful for her ability to hold on to her man, saving me years of additional heartache and lies. Also the illusion that I was loved.
#2cheater was dumped by his coworker after the HR investigation. Cheater found another ” love of his life ” on line from another country, and married her 7 weeks after our divorce was final. His last words were… he had not found another woman as good as me YET. Seriously..he was workimg on it when I filed.
He is remarried 3 years this month. Grateful that she keeps unstable Ex entertained and set me free. May this Union last so that he never seeks me back. No contact maintained
While I was still under the same roof as my FW, after her first discovered AP moved away with his wife and kids, during a drunken sadz moment, she dramatically proclaimed that he had blocked her. Aww, sniff, sniff, poor thing!
Now, to quote the Rock, “It doesn’t matter” to me anymore. I bred with the FW, so there is necessary communication regarding the children, but otherwise remain NC. The only thing that concerns me is that since we split custody (I’d prefer full custody, but she hasn’t messed up bad enough for the kids to want to leave her or the courts to remove them), I ensured the children all know how to call for help should any of the men she brings into her home abuse them emotionally, verbally, or physically.
“I ensured the children all know how to call for help…” Holy crap. I’m sorry you have to deal with that.
Thank you, but it is unfortunately my children that have to live through it and keep their guard up.
We all know FWs don’t make good decisions. I suspect many of them are also alcoholic FWs like mine. Before I suspected her affairs, I tried to have a loving, supportive intervention about her alcohol problem, but that resulted in her yelling, screaming and for the first time in our 20 years together she said I should divorce her – probably the only honest thing she ever told me. More than likely whoever she gets involved with will encourage more drinking, not less – not the ideal environment for my elementary school aged daughter and teenaged sons.
ExH walked out on DDay, after 18 years together, married 13 years and 3 boys, to be with AP, living 8 hours drive away. Over the next 18 months he saw his kids twice and phoned a handful of times – he wasn’t stopped from contact, it was his choice. No child support, of course.
It was a tough time for us and over the next few minths I found out that there had been other affairs and nefarious goings on throughout our relationship.
But after 18 months he and AP broke up and suddenly he called the kids, like 5 times in 3 weeks. He had “made the biggest mistake of his life” “should never have left” and “was planning to come back in 3 weeks to see them after sorting out his stuff and finishing a job”. It was unsettling but the kids were hopeful that he really did care about them after all.
3 weeks came and went – no call, no show. 4, 5 and 6 weeks – no call, no show. About 3 months later he finally contacted them to say he had moved even further away (20 hours drive) with a new GF and great new job. His contact with them has remained sporadic but he has also had 2 more GF (with some overlap between) and now engaged.
I saw this sad dynamic play out with my EXFIL an NPD FW/his son my ex the sociopath, the philandering distant father always withholding love and being selfish.
Teaching my kids to practice radical acceptance of FW personality disorders early on to avoid a repeat of history.
omg, your poor kids. What a jackhole.
Oh yeah, 6+ years on, they’re still together. They were house hunting together while we were mediating our divorce (but sure, nothing inappropriate happened while we were married! lol). They got married right before a court date ex & I had to settle an outstanding issue post divorce (which district our daughter would enroll in). I expect them to stay together at least until my daughter is driving age. Who knows what will happen after that.
Will he leave right before the 10 year mark so he’s not on the hook for lifetime alimony (she’s a SAHM and in California)? Or will he stick around in hopes of getting his fingers in the pie of what will likely be a nice inheritance from her grandparents & parents?
He hasn’t gotten a character transplant. The further out I get, the more shocked I am by the gulf in our values, and what he’s shown his values actually to be. Water finds its own level. It’s mostly not my circus, and not my monkeys anymore (can’t say things don’t entirely affect me anymore when we share a daughter).
It’s been a good 10 to 11 years since the divorce and at least 8-9 years since I even had any communication with my ex.
But from what I hear, nobody who is still friends with me has spoken to him in years.
He had three simultaneous “wives,” one actually legal and then sister wives (he’s not Mormon, just weird.) They knew about each other and I know one of them had another husband somewhere.
The one legal wife divorced him three years ago and has a new guy. From what I’m told the other two are MIA.
I have no idea what he’s doing with himself now.
HAHAHAAAhahaha! 🤣
I had lunch with a friend recently and she asked me if they were still together and I said honestly I didn’t know and I didn’t care. I truly believe they are each other’s punishment and I am so grateful to be divorced from him and actually feel that way. People take their personalities with them wherever they go, and I did not want to be with a liar-cheater-thief-criminal-phony, his true self which he kept well-hidden. They are both that way and therefore belong together.
As fate would have it, on the drive home I glanced at one point I glanced at the car in the lane on the freeway to my right and who should it be? The side piece.
A first. I could not believe it. The universe answered my question. I pulled ahead of her as soon as I could and left her in my rear view mirror, a fitting metaphor.
I do know they have a makeup-breakup pattern. I do know they opened an illicit massage parlor and escort service. (eeww! 🤮)I do know he met her in a massage parlor. I do know they do not have a monogamous situation. I do not
know if they have agreed to be monogamous. And all of this might flit across my mind on occasion and flits out just as quickly, like a bug on my windshield and disturbs me as much.
If you are new here and in that godawful pain, please just keep going. Just do today, one moment at a time. Take care of yourself as best you can, and your children too if you have them. Everyone here has been in that pain and everyone here ends up being extremely glad they are no longer in the so-called relationship
You’re the World Trade Center. Cheaters and side pieces are the hijackers ramming you with a jetliner. It’s incredibly painful and scary and wrong, but all you can do, and the best thing you can do, is get out.
…..I also think it is critically important to stop getting so hung up on “togetherness” and giving it so much importance and weight.
It is a spectacularly meaningless metric with which to measure the health of any relationship. As my therapist said, “a relationship can only be as healthy as the people in it.” Engaging in illicit deceptive relationships is proof positive that an individual does not have healthy relationship skills. Relationships are challenging; why in the Sam Hill would I want a partner who is an F student at Relationship School?! I can’t think of anything more backwards and self-defeating.
If I were car shopping and I found a car I liked and it spoke to me and said, “I’m a lemon with serious recall issues and unsafe and you can’t trust my brakes” I would not even consider it.
“TOGETHER” MEANS NOTHING.
I found SparkleDick passed out dead drunk at my front door two months after their wedding. Did I call Schmoopie to come and get her husband? No. I called the police and told them there was a vagrant passed out at my door and he needed to be removed. One of the officers asked if I knew him and I honestly said no. (Because I truly never knew him.) He didn’t believe me as SparkleDick was clean and well-dressed and my neighborhood didn’t usually attract the homeless or drug addicts.
I have no idea if he was arrested for trespassing. I’m sure he spent the night in the drunk tank.
Occasionally, I heard stories about them, one more ghastly than the last. I would just say, not my circus, not my monkey.
They did stay together until death they did part — her suicide. She was flaky, he was a prick. Tracy is right when she says the don’t get character transplants.
Oh well.
Have a FW-free weekend, Chump Nation!
Happy to hear the karma bus has finally come to collect Sarah’s FW.
My ex and her FW got married, which lasted less than a year before their divorce. They took a bath on the “marital home” which has depreciated in value and is now underwater.
Last I heard through the lesbian grapevine, my ex is now engaged to a new woman she met less than a year ago. Relationships really are expendable to this type!
D-day – six years ago.
FW aged 48 at time of D-day. AP age, 20.
I know they’re not together anymore because a couple of years ago the FW popped up as a suggested contact in social media, and he had the tag line, “I’m just a single guy looking for someone to drink with.”
So (a) she must’ve wizened up, and (b) dipsh!t, you HAD someone to drink with, and you dumped them for someone you could not legally drink with and (c) DRINKING??? REALLY???? THAT’s what you’re looking for? Wherever you go, there you are.
This is beyond hilarious. The stories people tell themselves about what they are doing and their actual actions do t match.
Their wuv was so vewy twu that they broke up the day after DDay. OW was angry that FW, faced with evidence he couldn’t explain away, admitted cheating. She had instructed him to deny it no matter what. FW was angry that she was angry. You see, APs can’t get angry because if they do, how are the any better than spouses? “She screwed me over!” he whined. How could she burst the fantasy bubble? What a betrayal.
Let us have a moment of silence for all the the poor, put-upon FWs whose fantasies come smack up against reality and go splat.
Ballbag McGee and The Triffid are locked together in unholy matrimony – the cheap fake gold paint has definitely flaked off the not so glittering prize though.
He’s cheated on her at least once and flirts online with bored American housewives when he isn’t saving the world as a cop.
The money and assets keep them together- I’m sure it will be a marvelous old age for them both.
Yay! 🙂
Cheater #1 married the (main) affair partner as soon as the divorce was final, and then cheated on her. I’ve been no contact since 1980, but his sister is still a friend and that’s how I know. I ran into him (or at least a man who looks exactly like his father did at that age) about ten years ago in a diner in a state I was passing through. When I talked to his sister and told her about it, she said she had no idea whether he’d been in North Carolina — she hadn’t been in touch with him in decades. (That was the first time I had ever discussed him with his sister since we divorced.)
Cheater #2 preferred men — men like our priest. He’s been with the same woman now since 1990, or so I’ve heard from a mutual acquaintance. I’ve been no contact with him since 1990, so I don’t know whether it’s true. If it is true, I pity her. He’s the same man who charmingly promised to beat me to death ever time we argued.
Cheater #3 is either still with the high school girlfriend I divorced him over 47 years after high school. Either that, or he’s with his sister. (I found tons and tons of incest porn on his computer.) I’ve been No Contact since the divorce, but again, a mutual acquaintance thought I might be interested to know . . . .
Ya know what? I’m good with not knowing!
It’s been 16 years since the divorce. He’d been having an affair for the final 8 years of our 23 year relationship. On the day I filed I told him, “Well, you can now go be with your girlfriend,” to which he replied, “She just got engaged to a state cop.” That was kinda funny to me at the time, and it’s only gotten funnier to me though the years. As soon as he was available, she no longer found him attractive.
It took me a long time to recover from the betrayal, but I don’t miss him and I’m so much better off without him. My only regret is that I didn’t file sooner.
They weren’t even together, at least not before he left. It was an unrequited crush/EA that ultimately destroyed my 14 year marriage. Talk about a Chump.
Oh gosh, yes. They broke up before the divorce was final. And I have a story about it. We’d been married for 25 years when I filed. Shortly after he changed his Facebook status to “In a relationship” meaning a relationship with the other woman. The divorce dragged out for about 18 months and his FB status kept changing back and forth. It appeared to me that the “relationship” wasn’t very stable. (No I don’t look at his facebook any more, but it was early days) Eventually they must have broken up for good because he called me and said, “I am Very Single…” and then asked me for the recipe for one of his favorite meals. LOL.
I think he expected me to cancel the divorce and welcome him back with open arms. What an idiot. I didn’t give him the recipe, either.
I love that you didn’t give him the recipe!
X married OW something like 14 years ago. He treats her the way he treated me. Unlike me, however, she is financially stuck with him after freeing me. Every arrangement has its price.
Agreed. I can honestly say that now I am sorry for him the ex chose to live his life the way he did. He could have made some hard choices and turned away from the ditch, but he chose not to. I know it hurt my son to watch his dad make one bad decision after the other.
Ahhh, Karma. She has not been swift in my case, but I still have faith in her.
My husband’s AP was my former best friend who was living with us, states away from her husband and troubled marriage. I thought I was helping her through a rough patch, but she was looking for a replacement husband. When I caught them, she was forced to go home since she couldn’t support herself financially. I waited a long time for the proverbial shoe to drop, for her husband to kick her out, and for her to become a destitute divorcee. But the opposite happened… She landed a big job with lots of public and social attention. Was featured in a magazine, makes television appearances where she is often interviewed. Sweet as pie. Such a community leader. Barf. In reality she is a phony and definitely on the narcissistic spectrum. I thought that even before I found out she was screwing my husband in the upstairs guest suite. I sure can pick em.
Anywhoo… I’m a firm believer in “the bigger they are the harder they fall”. Maybe she will be caught stealing from her non-profit. Maybe she will be caught in a high profile scandal. Who knows. I don’t really track her anymore. I know she will eventually get her comeuppance and it will be all on her own. Someday, some way, she will get the Karma she deserves. Hope it’s on the news!
I’m a bit late to this party, but long story short, FW moved in with Schmoopie directly after leaving. Apparently, she threw him out about 10 days after. They were together a few months after that, but my source says all he heard were complaints on both sides.
Knowing this did help. However, I consider it a very good thing that I only learned of it 4 years in, since I would probably have tried to reconcile, and he would have stood a good chance just by telling me how horrible everything had been with Schmoopie, as I would have considered he had learned his lesson. I already knew I would never trust him again, but the pain was unbearable at the beginning.
I guess that also explains the three times that FW tried to have a conversation with me in the following six months, and the time he just happened to be in a place where he knew I would be, until I blocked him.
Twatface and his drunk lasted about three years before she started telling everyone how she had to leave him because she was afraid he would kill her (quite possible, he was a violent prick)! He and latest schmoopie have been together for about 11 years, living in the US and he’s paying the mortgage. His family all hate her for being a miserable cow but she has no pension and he can’t be alone. When he came over here (France) last year for our little granddaughter’s first birthday, our 4 year old grandson sat on his lap and was showing him his cars. He turned to me and said “I’m missing all this” and I don’t think it was just the littles. We live in beautiful country, I have both our sons nearby and the littles love their nanny. Yeah choices buster, choices!
My ex-wife committed serial adultery with dozens and dozens of men found on her phone and sexting daily, trying to meet up so forth. Though she had one main AP that I took screenshots on D-day of her telling him “You and hubby are the only ones I’m sleeping with”. Yes, she was even cheating on her main cheating partner lol. As my solicitors stated he would run off once I divorced her as he would not want a single mother with 3 kids in tow and they were correct.
He ghosted her from what I know and she then met the guy she is currently with around 6 weeks after I left the family home. That’s how quickly I was replaced after 16 years together. They have been together over 5 years now yet she has stupidly messaged me about how much guilt she carries and how she wishes it had never happened and how our marriage was good. I’m pretty sure he has no idea she sent me that and I bet he has no idea she also serially cheated on the guy she lived with before I met her.
Yes, CheaterX and Schmoopie broke up. This was not a surprise to anyone who’d known Schmoopie. The real surprise to most people was that CheaterX was, in fact, a cheater. He’d always made such a big deal about the importance of morals, integrity, and, of course, faith. His father and his brother were both cheaters. CheaterX was cut from the same cloth.
If you do a search on my posts from about a decade ago, you can see how things transpired. CheaterX’s marriage to Schmoopie lasted less than a year. Both had obvious character flaws. CheaterX likely has Borderline Personality Disorder (and a very transactional understanding of relationships). Schmoopie was a gold-digger who’d already been through 2 husbands and was known for dating only married men. Once I was out of the picture, it was apparent that CheaterX wasn’t as wealthy as he’d made himself out, and that Schmoopie liked to spend money, especially in bars (she had an affair with a tavern owner). CheaterX hated to go out places where he’d have to interact with people and Schmoopie wanted to hang out at clubs.
Could they have had a longer relationship? I don’t know. I think both had enough obvious issues that the relationship would not last. However, I know of one guy who divorced his cheating wife and who says that 20 years later, his ex is still married to her affair partner (they shared a child, so he had to stay in touch). Meanwhile, he remarried to a woman who calls him the sweetest, funniest, and smartest man she’s ever known.
However, I think the defining aspect of any cheater relationship is that you know that they have the capacity to cheat if they feel the circumstances warrant it. People with integrity don’t cheat. Instead, they have difficult conversations and, if a marriage isn’t working, they divorce.
In other words, even if a cheater has been in a 20 year marriage post-divorcing the Chump, the cheater always has “cheat” in their relationship toolbox. It’s just that they haven’t felt they needed to use that tool yet.