BlogHer, Trolls, and Other News

by Chump Lady on July 22, 2014

Hi chumps, hey just a quick note to let you know I’m heading off to the big BlogHer conference in San Jose, California tomorrow. I’ll still be posting, but my timing might be a bit off. Meanwhile, the guys and dogs will be holding down the fort at home, graciously allowing me some time to commune with fellow blogging geeks.

In other news, I hesitate to mention it, because nothing delights a troll more than attention. (Troll kibbles? Tribbles? The trouble with tribbles?) But I’m sure some of you have noticed the troll attack on my book over at Some wing nut named “Fiona” (probably the same Fiona I banned over here ages ago) has been spamming the review boards and posting her winsomely psychotic vitriol. Today she likened me to Hitler. (I have better hair than Hitler, Fiona.)

All for the bizarre offense that I used the word “retard” in my book. Which actually doesn’t appear anywhere in my book. (My husband helpfully pointed out that Amazon has over 3,000 books with the word “retard” in the title, so perhaps she could go flame them? He also offered to send her a copy of “Origami for Retards,” but she seems unmoved.)

Generally my policy with trolls and other unpleasant people, like cheaters, is to ignore them and go NC. But today the book came out on Canada’s Amazon and guess who the first review was? Fiona!

So I’m asking Chump Nation, if you bought my book, if you liked my book, and even if you’ve already reviewed my book, please take a moment and post your review on the Canadian and UK Amazon’s sites. If we want to change the conversation about infidelity – that chumps don’t drive people to cheat, that cheating is about entitlement and poor character, and that reconciliation is over-hyped — then please support the book.

And to everyone who has posted the awesome reviews — thank you from the bottom of my chumpy Hitler heart.



And the Bitch Cookie Goes to…!

by Chump Lady on July 22, 2014

bitchcookieIn case you missed it, one of our intrepid chumps shared the term “bitch cookie” with Chump Nation and it took off. What’s a bitch cookie? It’s a tasty little reward you get for doing something you should do anyway, without reward.

Cheaters ask for bitch cookies all the time.

“Hey, okay I cheated — but I didn’t beat you.”

Bitch cookie.

“You should appreciate all the good things I DO do — I was faithful for, like, entire MONTHS.”

Bitch cookie.

And this one from my ex — “Hey, the affair(s) didn’t take that much TIME.” Like my biggest problem with his infidelities was time management.

Bitch cookie.

So chumps, what stupid shit did your cheater say that merits a bitch cookie? You only had three D-days, not four? They didn’t have sex with you on the same day they had sex with the affair partner? They kept cheating, but hey, they were NEVER going to divorce you!

Let’s award some bitch cookies.



Better the Devil You Know?

July 21, 2014

I’ve noticed time and again when chumps in reconciliation explain themselves, they say some version of this: “Well, I don’t trust Bob. It won’t be the same, but I’m glad we’re still married. Because after this, I’m not going to trust anyone again anyway. So why start over? If I’m going to be twitchy about infidelity, […]

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Dear Chump Lady, He never told his adult kids their mom cheated

July 19, 2014

Dear Chump Lady, While I am all for remaining gracious in the face of a cheater spouse, at what point is it acceptable to inform adult children of their parent’s infidelity? I am twice chumped, and am dating a fellow chump. He is a man of integrity, at least so far, but he has this […]

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Dear Chump Lady, He’d have never met her — if I’d only been better?

July 17, 2014

Dear Chump Lady: I know he has talked himself into this belief. Originally, he said he didn’t know why he started talking to OW, having an EA first which then became physical. He said I was a good wife and a great mom. He even supposedly told OW that. After D-day #2 or was it […]

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Beware Jesus Cheaters… There’s a New Blog in Town

July 16, 2014

Hey chumps, I know several of you guys are bloggers. Forgive me for not giving each of you a shout out (but do post the link to your blog in your screen name, or feel free to link to it in the comments). But today I thought I’d let you know about a new blog […]

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Making Character Cool?

July 15, 2014

So last Sunday night, I appeared on Dr. George Simon’s podcast “Character Matters.” You can listen here. It was great fun. We touched on a number of topics (the fallacy of “sex addiction” might interest a bunch of you out there — Dr. Simon thinks it’s a ridiculous “industry” and the treatment further traumatizes the partners […]

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When Your Cheater Is a Sicko

July 14, 2014

So the other day, we had a discussion going in the comments about cheaters who do it in the marital bed, the family motorhome, the truck, etc. My opinion is these freaks are a certain subset of cheaters — the real sickos. It’s not enough to cheat, they get an extra kick from secretly debasing their chumps. […]

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Dear Chump Lady, Is there any way back from an emotional affair?

July 13, 2014

Dear Chump Lady, Is there any way back from a 13-month-long emotional affair? My husband and our insurance agent carried on behind my back, talking, texting, sometimes meeting in the park near our home. They were just friends, blah, blah, blah. I know your friends and she’s not one of them. The worst part was […]

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The Kindle Version of the CL Survival Guide to Infidelity is Available

July 11, 2014

Hi eBook chumps! At last, the Kindle version of The Chump Lady Survival Guide to Infidelity is available here. Sorry it took a little while, I needed to hire (an awesome person) to format it for me, as Kindle doesn’t play nicely with other software and the cartoons need gentle handling. But it’s up now. […]

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